Joseph looked around the living room of Samuel's house at the elders gathered there. Simon was the oldest man in the room. To Joseph he had always been an old man, whereas Samuel had only become an old man very recently. Joseph thought Simon was becoming a bit senile, but Samuel continued to turn to him for advice. And Samuel wanted him present today.

Peter wasn't there. He was still in the hospital, recovering from the injuries he received when the police attacked their seminar in Karachi. It had taken twenty stitches to close the gash on the back of his head.

Timothy wasn't there either. He'd been arrested by the Security Forces, when they raided the public seminar. He was released yesterday with the others in the Security Forces prison, but he couldn't even walk to the vehicle that had gone to pick up the men. The Security Forces had beaten the soles of his feet to a bloody pulp.

Jonah was missing. He'd been charged along with Paul for the murder of Matthew. But Jonah had other troubles with the police over some business matters, so he'd gone into hiding. No one knew where he was.

Nor was Paul present. That surprised Joseph. He felt certain that Samuel had invited him. Perhaps he's tied up, Joseph thought, but it hardly seemed likely that Paul would miss such an important meeting of the elders. Was it possible that Samuel hadn't notified him?

Samuel's wife had already served them all tea, and the men were now lighting up their cigarettes. It was time to talk.

"Friends," Samuel began, "thank you for coming on such short notice. I don't have to tell you that we are facing a difficult time. That's why I'm asking for your advice."

Joseph watched Samuel's face. He loved Samuel as a son loves a loving father. Joseph didn't know a more compassionate and courageous man. But for the first time Joseph realized that Samuel, like Simon, was getting old. His face looked haggard with worry. His eyes were a bit misty and his shoulders seemed to be sagging. Joseph could see that this struggle was aging him rapidly.

Samuel cleared his throat before continuing. "In the last few days we've been through a lot. Many of our friends have been beaten, arrested or even killed. Some are in hiding. Others, we know, will be selling information to the police to keep themselves and their families safe. Both the Security Forces and the police are now working against us. Even our Muslims friends, Javed and Hassan, are being attacked."

There wasn't a sound in the room except Samuel's voice and the turning of the ceiling fan. A small lizard had crawled out from a crack in the wall and was hanging effortlessly above the heads of the men, but it remained absolutely still.

"Bishop Gregory has contacted me to ask for my advice. He may also have contacted many of you. Henry Blake has called. The international response to our situation will be slow, as usual. Given the fairly mild response to the attack on Shantinagar, we can't expect any real assistance from overseas without experiencing a major disaster here. That's a sad fact that we have to accept. The newspapers continue to print stories that give our side of the issues, but the editors are edgy. We're at a critical time."

Joseph remembered how Samuel used to talk with his children when there was a problem in the house. He would sit them all down and then, step by step, go over what had happened. If he could get the children to agree on the facts, then the solution to the problem became much easier. Joseph realized Samuel was using the same approach now with the elders.

"We've scheduled another public seminar in Lahore. This will be crucial. We have to show that peaceful and public dialogue is possible in Pakistan. Henry Blake will come to ensure that we receive international coverage, and his presence ought to help protect against an attack. We've lined up speakers from Muslim parties in the Punjab who are willing to appear with us. In addition, we've received permission from the provincial government to hold the seminar, and the national press has promised to cover it."

Joseph was surprised to hear that these arrangements had all been completed. He was impressed that so much had been worked out. But why wasn't Paul here? And why hadn't Paul told him about these plans?

"Our options," Samuel continued, "as I see them, are as follows. If the public seminar comes off without violence, and if we receive decent press coverage, then we can push for a hearing on our petition against the blasphemy law. But if the public seminar is prevented or disrupted, then I think we have to withdraw the petition. It will simply be too dangerous to press our cause, at least for a time."

Samuel coughed twice. The room was filled with cigarette smoke, but Joseph didn't think that was the reason for Samuel's coughing. He thought the old man was becoming ill.

"I wanted you to come together to discuss these options, or others that you may suggest, without Fr. Paul being present. I know you share with me great respect and love for Fr. Paul. But our feelings about him, or concern for his feelings, shouldn't color what we decide. We need to make the decision that's best for our people, and only we can decide that."

Joseph glanced around the room, wondering how this discussion would go. There was silence for a time, as the men mulled over in their minds what Samuel had said. A couple of the men now lit another cigarette and passed their packs to the others.

Simon was the first to speak. "Samuel, I realize why you decided to have this meeting without Fr. Paul. But I think it would have been better to have him here. He needs to hear how the elders feel, and no summary that you or I make to him will be the same as being present. I suggest that we schedule another meeting tomorrow with Fr. Paul to go over what we talk about tonight."

Good for you, Simon! Joseph thought to himself. That's a comment I would have made, if I were an elder. Maybe Simon wasn't as senile as Joseph had thought.

Nathan was speaking now. He was a younger man among the elders, better educated than many of them, but known for being down to earth. "The people in my colony are eager to have the petition go forward. They're waiting on it, hoping that the Court can simply throw the law out and make the problem go away. If the seminar in Lahore is disrupted, however, they won't expect us to keep pushing right now. So, I agree with Samuel's suggestion. What we do next depends on how things go in Lahore."

"I heard a rumor on the way here," John reported, "that two Christians were charged with blasphemy in the Punjab today for listening to Christian tapes in their garage while they were working. A Muslim brought his car in for repairs. He claimed the tapes were an effort to convert him."

John was a large man. He ran an auto repair shop in Korangi 3. John paused to let them digest this rumor. "We all agreed with the petition against the blasphemy law when Fr. Paul proposed it, because we knew we needed a new strategy to try to protect ourselves. Our Muslim lawyers seem willing to take great personal risks to push the petition forward to its conclusion. I say we shouldn't give up on it yet, even if we can't pull off the public seminar in Lahore."

Joseph didn't know John very well, but he was glad that he'd made this argument. This was no time to drop the petition.

"For many years, Samuel," Andrew was saying, "you've been a wise leader for our people. So, I certainly take very seriously what you're saying to us today. But if there's an informer here in the room or if the government comes to know about our conversation in some other way, won't that guarantee that the seminar will be disrupted? Deciding not to go ahead, if the seminar is disrupted, will give the government an incentive to disrupt it. I think we need to keep our options open and weigh our choices again after the public seminar is held. We may want to go ahead with the petition, regardless of what happens in Lahore."

Andrew ran a grocery story in Paul's colony. He was right to remind them of informers. It seemed that the police knew about everything they were doing. It was hard to believe that an elder might be informing on them, but money was a powerful incentive. And the police had other ways of turning people against their own community. They could threaten to inspect the premises of a business. Usually that meant finding something contrary to health and safety regulations. Then they would impose a fine or even close a business down. Or they could threaten to arrest a family member. It was hard to resist the police when they put pressure on you.

As the men discussed these various points of view, Joseph recalled the worship service at the mission the morning after the public seminar had been attacked. The community had rallied around Fr. Paul and experienced a powerful sense of commitment in the service. These men didn't know that. They hadn't been there. They were only analyzing the dangers and the possible gains in terms of political concerns. They didn't realize that the people were being galvanized by the sacrifice of the Christian leaders and the courage of Fr. Paul.

He remembered how he'd come to the service that morning, dispirited because of what he'd seen the night before. But Fr. Paul's sermon, Sister Martha's prayer, and the singing of the people had given him new strength. Maybe they needed to convene more prayer services rather than protests and public seminars. That might get encourage other people and help to prepare them for the risks that lay ahead.

When there was a lull in the conversation, Joseph decided to speak. He hadn't thought through clearly what he was going to say, but he felt the elders were drifting and needed a nudge forward. "Excuse me, Samuel. I know I'm too young to speak, but I'd like to ask for a few minutes to share my feelings and ideas." He waited out of respect for his elders, to see if anyone would oppose his request.

"Go ahead, Joseph," Samuel said, after scanning the room and seeing no objection.

"When you asked me to stay with Fr. Paul, I saw myself as just a bodyguard for him. But in the last few weeks Fr. Paul has given me a new sense of my life. He's talked openly with me about Christian faith, and he's welcomed me into his mission. I've learned from these experiences that our struggle is about more than our rights. It is about our humanity. We aren't just fighting for our civil and political rights. We're fighting for our human dignity."

"David, Michael and I have become better persons because of this struggle. We are less embittered. We no longer think of getting revenge against Muslims. We aren't just looking for a way to survive and stay out of jail. We are hoping for lives with greater purpose and meaning. We are talking about cooperating with Muslims and beginning to know some of them. We are thinking for ourselves and discovering our talents and creativity."

"Whatever we do, we can't give up the struggle to realize our humanity more fully in Pakistan. This is all that's keeping young people from despair. Right now Fr. Paul symbolizes that hope, and the petition against the blasphemy law looks like a sword of truth that he has raised up against the Beast. If he, Hassan and Javed are willing to ride forth to slay that horrible creature in order to save our community from despair, then I believe that we are called to give them all the support we can."

"So I hope you won't decide now about the petition against the blasphemy law. Let's see what happens in Lahore. And please talk with the young people of your colonies, to see how they are feeling. There is something stirring here in this struggle that's bigger than all of us. Perhaps it's the Spirit of God. That sounds a little silly, I know, but that's what I felt in the worship service at the mission the other morning. I felt the Spirit of God strengthening the people. Maybe it will strengthen us as well."

Samuel looked proudly at Joseph. "Listening to you has reminded me of young Joseph in the book of Genesis who rose to power in Egypt. After Joseph was sold into slavery, his situation looked hopeless. Yet, he came to play a decisive role in preserving his people." Samuel cleared his throat once more. "I think you're right, Joseph. We may be too caught up now in the politics of our situation to see it clearly as the test of faith that it certainly is. Perhaps God is working out his will through us in ways we will never understand."

Samuel looked around the room and then at Simon. "Are you happy with that conclusion, Simon?" When Simon nodded, Samuel continued. "Then I don't think we need to call another meeting for tomorrow with Fr. Paul. We'll work hard to make the seminar in Lahore a success. And after it's over, we'll reconsider our position."

The meeting was breaking up now. But as the men stood, Samuel motioned for them to be silent. "Joseph, will you lead us in a closing prayer?"

Joseph hesitated for a moment but then bowed his head. "Let us pray. Almighty God, be with us. Give us courage and wisdom. Help us to be joyful and to trust one another. Heal those who are injured. Comfort those who are suffering, those who are afraid, those who have lost loved ones, those who are in prison. Grant us justice. Open us to your Holy Spirit and to the power of your forgiving love. We pray in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Amen."

While the men were beginning to leave, Andrew and John made a point of speaking to Joseph and thanking him for his comments. For the first time, Joseph felt fully accepted by the leaders of the Christian colonies.